What is it?

Unless you've spent the past ten years living in servitude to a crazed old man on a remote ranch in the Midwest, cut off from technology and the outside world, and in constant fear of a pending suicide pact, you don't need someone to explain what Lifeinvader is.

When we escaped from that ranch four years ago, we discovered a world in the grips of a cult more terrifying and dangerous than we could have ever imagined: social media. The stark truth of these tech pioneers - whether it's a search engine like Eyefind, microblogging company like Bleeter, or social networking site like Lifeinvader - they have the same scheme. They rush in, saying how they're going to revolutionize your life and make the world better, yet what they're really doing is monetizing everyone else's hard work and private information.

Does it pass the CULTSTOPPERS 5-point cult test?

1) Self-appointed messianic leader?

Jay Norris, the trust fund nerd who got so fed up with having no friends that he paid some programmers to find a way to create millions of them out of thin air, then sacked them.

2) Elitist totalitarian structure?

If you're not on Lifeinvader, you're a social pariah. Even if you're on Lifeinvader, you're a social pariah if you have less than 50 friends. Lifeinvader cuts you off from normal society, monitors your personal information, tracks your every move and uses public humiliaton as a tool to keep you subservient. There's no escape.

3) Promise of higher power?

What if you had control over the lives of everyone you know? What if you had the power to be liked by people you haven't even met? Lifeinvader makes you feel special and loved. It taps right into the God complex at the heart of all of us. It makes us a nation of lonely morons while convincing us we're connecting with people!

4) Mind control techniques?

How else do they steal 90% of your waking hours and manipulate you into parting freely with all your personal information?

5) Heavy financial commitment?

It's free and it will always be free, right? Unless you put a price on your privacy and soul, and don't mind a constant barrage of targeted advertising.